Deerington Inbox

[incandescentfaith]

Hello, you've reached Rei Hino.
I'm sorry to have missed you.

Please leave a message and I'll contact you as I am able.

Comments

[incandescentfaith]

Oh. Yeah, teenage boys are gross.
I don't have a shift at the comic shop, but if you need, I can bring over some incense and candles.

[She has a wide variety of those.]

[variantcover]

you don't?

[ Double take... ]

oh shit, Rei. sorry! i thought i was texting Chloe there.
but you can still come by with incense and candles if you want. they would be a big help.

[incandescentfaith]

[Rei, by now, had figured.]

Well, my hair's a bit too long for that, but I could swear a lot and flirt really badly, and you can keep pretending.

I'll do that. How bad are we talking?

[variantcover]

hey, you've really got her down pat!
but i think i'd rather just talk to you.

it's like
> smelly boy sweat
> covered in axe body spray
> then sweat some more
> then more axe body spray
> ad infinitum

[incandescentfaith]

I'm glad, because I like talking to you.

That sounds absolutely vile. I'm not fond of most teenage boys, but ones with no self awareness and sense of hygiene are the worst.

Do I need a hazmat suit?

[variantcover]

samesies! you're a good conversationalist.

it's horrible. it's making my eyes water.
we might need to fumigate.

[incandescentfaith]

Isn't that a bit extreme?
Can't you just kick him out?

Or hand him a sign that says "The Stench of Evil" or something?

[variantcover]

i tried opening the door and getting a fan going to circulate the air, all while staring at him judgingly.

if he doesn't buy something after all of this, then i'm banning him from the store until he buys a bar of soap.

[incandescentfaith]

Well the good news is I'll be there momentarily.

The bad news is that most of what I have is cedar scented. It's only bad news if you hate that though.

[variantcover]

i think i've totally forgotten what cedar even smells like.
it feels like smelly seth's B.O. is the only scent i've ever known.


(jk cedar is fine!)

[incandescentfaith]

You poor thing.
I can feel your aura slipping away as the smell smothers you slowly...

[variantcover]

i'm not long left for this world...


oh thank god he's finally leaving.
the smell lingers on but the source has vacated.

[incandescentfaith]

You're in luck. Your savior has arrived in a red chariot.

[And Rei steps into the shop, a basket under her arm, heading right for the counter...and to the rescue.]